Best zingers given or received?

[Anonymous 10]

I once had a manager tell me I wasn't working hard. I said is that why I'm sweating like I just jacked off in a port a poddy in the middle of July?? He had nothing to say

 

[UpstateNYUPSer(Ret)]

Rookie runner/gunner trips and falls flat on face on way to PCM. Another driver "And you want to be my latex deliveryman?"

I don't get it.

 

[cachsux]

I don't get it.

The sexual frequency discussion thread is in another forum Dave.





​(Rimshot)

 

[UpstateNYUPSer(Ret)]

"It's easy for you to work, you're alone and have nobody. Probably never will. You don't understand that the wife (something you don't have and probably never will) has to come first once in a while".

 

[browntruckmechanic]

Had a driver once write up his pkg car for and I quote " My stool is loose". After repairing the seat assy I place a roll of toilet paper hanging off the backup monitor, with a note try more fiber.

​

 

[oldngray]

But wouldn't more fiber make him even more loose?

 

[bleedinbrown58]

Had a driver once write up his pkg car for and I quote " My stool is loose". After repairing the seat assy I place a roll of toilet paper hanging off the backup monitor, with a note try more fiber.

​

That is awesome. You should've left him a bottle of pepto with the tp lmao.

 

[1BROWNWRENCH]

But wouldn't more fiber make him even more loose?

Some cheese would be a better suggestion.

 

[cachsux]

" You don't understand that the wife has to come first once in a while".

Make her come first twice and watch what happens.

 

[UPS Preloader]

"It's easy for you to work, you're alone and have nobody. Probably never will. You don't understand that the wife (something you don't have and probably never will) has to come first once in a while".

Very well played... LOL

 

[Richard Harrow]

One time we had a PCM given by some gung-ho rookie with about 4 months of seniority who had just joined the Safety Committee and was on a mission to change the world. He gave us this big elaborate demonstration of the proper way to lift an (empty) box up off the floor, while reciting the 8 keys to lifting and lowering. He then went around to each member of our group, placed a candy bar on the floor in front of us, and told us we could have the candy bar if we demonstrated proper lifting methods for getting it up off of the floor while at the same time accurately reciting the 8 keys. When it was my turn....I simply stepped on the candy bar and squashed it flat into the floor with my boot as I turned and walked away.

Well played. I probably would have said "I'm diabetic" and walked away.

 

[Re-Raise]

I don't get it.

Seinfeld

 

[DS]

Me to preload sup,hey do you have a cigarette?
​Huh?
I like to have a smoke after I get friend

 

[DS]

My favorite PCM.
Oncar...when you find 20 stops in your car that are in another area,they are not misloads.
​It's called a split.Also it is not OK to tell your supervisor to friend off.

 

[728ups]

The other day a driver in my center went up to the center manager and told him( in a VERY serious tone) he had been with the company nearly 30 years,had never filed a grievance in all of that time,and until last week had never felt the need to file a grievance. The center manager shook his hand and thanked him for "allowing me to be part of your first grievance" . I laughed very loudly

 

[Indecisi0n]

Sup: good morning
Me: blow me

My plan worked, he doesn't talk to me anymore.

 

[Catatonic]

"It's easy for you to work, you're alone and have nobody. Probably never will. You don't understand that the wife (something you don't have and probably never will) has to come first once in a while".

​That's the best zinger in this thread! LMAAAAO

 

[JackStraw]

center manager sent me out blind one day. As I'm pulling out he says to me, "You know I'm effing you today". Without missing a beat I reply " That's ok I'm gonna eff you right back and pull it out with sharp edges" Also, got a message to call ctr. center manager says "Hey I need you in before 8". I tell him no can do. He says "That doesn't sound like the JackStraw I know" I tell him, "Well the JackStraw I know never went out with one hundred and seventy stops".......Dead silence for a couple seconds. "All right I'll see what I can do".

 

[cachsux]

Not a verbal zinger but back in the day the initiation for a rookie feeder driver was to swap his red and blue lines when he stepped out of the tractor and sit back and see how long it would be before they figured it out.

 

[cachsux]

Sup: good morning
Me: blow me

My plan worked, he doesn't talk to me anymore.

As long as you got that bj who cares.