dumbest message you got on your DIAD

[rushfan]

"The Dept. of Homeland security is auditing to see if the bulkhead doors are closed".

And this one from a former employee paranoia induced by a meth addiction, passed along via ODS-"There is a white government car following a certain driver, use caution".

 

[local804]

Its snowing out, drive safe.

Thanks, wouldnt have figured it out.

 

[Dirty Savage]

Always a fan favorite in my centre: "How many done? How many left to go?

Oh yeah, I love that one. Makes me want punch random things.

On Fridays I just love "Watch out for those crazy Friday drivers." Dammit, I AM THE CRAZY FRIDAY DRIVER!!!

 

[dillweed]

Every one of these messages just wastes time. What's the matter with them? 1

 

[$bill]

that's funny. And no way should they have called you in. You did nothing wrong and it was their own filthy minds that made it dirty.

I actually thought you were leading up to "Little willy willy won't go home, you can't make willy go willy won't go. Anyone remember that one?

 

[rod]

Its snowing out, drive safe.

Thanks, wouldnt have figured it out.

sounds like someone woke up from their afternoon nap at the desk and looked outside.

 

[jds4lunch]

Another beauty is when I get a message that says, "Call (insert sup's name here) at 1-800-***-****." The when you call him, he has no idea why you called.

 

[DS]

Heres another one that I recently got...and I bet over9 can relate.

Bleep:
safety tip ......think safety

 

[upsgrunt]

Yesterday I had 18 misloads (not a typo); I called them in and hoped they would come to get them. 5 hours later I get the message-"what misloads do you have again?" I spent almost 5 minutes typing all them in and got back the response: "OK just make sure you deliver them all"
Gee, thanks a ton-another bunch of mistakes I have to fix!

 

[Fishbulb]

i always get the "What is your ETA?" around 11am. Then that OMS gets off her shift & the next shift of OMS's come in & 20 minutes later I get "What is your ETA?" again. I always send back "Scroll up & read"

 

[brownmonster]

You get a message from a supe asking you to make a pickup. You call the center and ask for that supe and he is on the road with another driver. Nice try.

 

[over9five]

OFTEN:

I send a message saying I can't make the air door.


Later I get a message asking me to take Daves airs in, cuz he won't make the air door.

I say, "No, I already told you I won't make the air door".

So, of course, they send Dave a message asking him to take my airs in, cuz I won't make the air door.....

 

[JustTired]

One winter several years ago, I got stuck in a driveway off of a highway. No cell phone and no one home at the delivery house. The next house was 1/4-1/2 mile away. I sent a message that I was stuck and needed a tow truck. About 15 min. later, I hadn't heard anything but seen a tow truck coming down the road. I waved him down and although he was going to another call, he pulled me out.

About 2hrs later I get a message asking if I still need help. I called the center and told the sup the deal and asked why it took him 2 hours to get back to me. He said "You must have been in a dead spot for messages."

After that, any time I got a message I didn't want to respond to, I just told him "I must of been in that dead spot." Worked like a charm!!

 

[browniehound]

OFTEN:

I send a message saying I can't make the air door.


Later I get a message asking me to take Daves airs in, cuz he won't make the air door.

I say, "No, I already told you I won't make the air door".

So, of course, they send Dave a message asking him to take my airs in, cuz I won't make the air door.....

This is funny because 2 or 3 days a week I can't contain in my p1000 my pickups so I have to send a message to get my last 2 pick ups covered and I do. But, without fail, I will get a message "What time can you meet Dave to get his airs?". I am always nice so I never write back "Where does UPS find people like you? You friend-ing idiot. You just had my last 2 pick ups covered because I can't contain anymore packages, why would you send me to get somebody's airs?"

I usually just say, I'm sorry I can't fit anymore packages in my truck.

 

[helenofcalifornia]

Someone is going to be getting a P12 soon!!!

 

[hseofpayne]

"Do you want to work saturday?

 

[trouble maker]

It's funny that this thread was started- just today I got a message that read verbatim; "where are you". I thought of a million smart ass answers, but bit my tongue and told them the address where I was at. I never heard another word from anybody.
I also like it when they send a message that is too long to fit on one screen and then don't send the remaining message.
Finally, last year we got random message that Ralph Papsmear (made up name-I can't remember the real name) was promoted to such and such a position. The next morning before the PCM, all of us drivers were like "who the hell is Ralph Papsmear?"

hey grunt,
next time they ask you where you are, type back in EARTH. they get so pissed off.

 

[special delivery]

Where are you? I replied, "in the back of the truck taking a dump in a DR bag." Never got that msg again!!

 

[code5]

I got one once that said "Your going to be dismissed because you left the scene of an accident"

I reported back to the scene and a cop was there saying it wasn't a problem. He then asked me if I got paid hourly or by the package. He then asked me if I had any work left for the day.

When I replied I was hourly and was finished for the day because another driver was going to finish my route he said he would draw out the situation as long as he could for me!

 

[Big Babooba]

I love it when I'm at the pumps at night and get, "call the center asap" when a supervisor is looking out the door at me.