onehandsolo
Well-Known Member
Thank you guys it sucks. I am of this week should be ok for the following week. Thank God for my siblings.
And send the ex the video!THAT'S what I'm talkin' about!!!!Well, were that the case, he should go over to HER best friends house and return the favor.
Hang in there, man.Thank you guys it sucks. I am of this week should be ok for the following week. Thank God for my siblings.
Lots of good advice about divorce from the guys on here. Just remember TIME DOES HEAL so you just have to ride it out AND MOVE FORWARD.
Hopefully she will be fair in the divorce settlement but if not MAKE SURE YOU GET A GOOD LAWYER WHO WILL GO TO BATTLE FOR YOU if needed.
In a perfect world she has a great job and pension/401k like you? That will make the money issues easier to settle. I am guessing she has a job.
If you have kids? Get shared50/50 legal and physical custody IF AT ALL POSSIBLE because child support can be a huge ripoff for the noncustodial parent. JUDGES THESE DAYS TREAT DADS MUCH BETTER.
There are some killer websites for divorced men with a ton of info that will help you. Try a google search.
If you can convince your wife to work out the terms of your divorce decree on your own instead of letting the lawyers run up huge fees(thats their game) YOU GUYS WILL SAVE THOUSANDS IN LEGAL FEES.
The lawyers will then write up your agreement and the judge will sign off. Its worth a shot.
This is now a business transaction so protect yourself and DO NOT LEAVE ANY FINANCIAL LOOSE ENDS like a car loan or credit cards or home loans etc. that will come back to bite you.
First off, the 401k and pension are a shared asset---she is entitled to 1/2 of the 401k and 2% of the pension for each year that they were while he worked at UPS up to 50%.
My wife just told me she wants a divorce. I am in no shape to work from a mental or physical aspect. What to I do?[/QUOTE
You are not alone. It is a kick in the stomach to say the least. I was married for 27 years. Seek counseling. It will do you a world of good. All is not lost. You are just making an unexpected turn. It does get better. Also don't take any legal advice from anybody on this forum. They're just truck drivers and package handlers - not lawyers.
You are going to be ok. Stay close to your family and talk about it.Thank you guys it sucks. I am of this week should be ok for the following week. Thank God for my siblings.
Stop the train and everyone step back.
We have available to us 6 visits with a mental health professional in our EAP (Employee Assistance Program)
There are other resources available in EAP which can assist a family in transition.
This items are confidential and UPS in not privy to any services we seek out for any reason.
Like BB said in post above, seek professional advice and discount the opinions in this thread.
Starting a thread, like this, is acknowledging you recognize you need help.
This is a step in healing.
And I am glad he did. His regular insurance will cover some visits, no need to set EAP in place. JMHO
To me, once you contact EAP, you are in trouble. Once again, jmho. And I no longer, if ever expect privacy in matters personal. Once you go into EAP, I feel you may be monitored.....................
ups guy, nothing personal but that is terrible advice. First off, the 401k and pension are a shared asset---she is entitled to 1/2 of the 401k and 2% of the pension for each year that they were while he worked at UPS up to 50%. Second, please name one insurance company that will allow here to stay on the policy when the divorce is finalized.
The only good advice was to try to work the division of property themselves. Mediators can be quite helpful.
Stop the train and everyone step back.
We have available to us 6 visits with a mental health professional in our EAP (Employee Assistance Program)
There are other resources available in EAP which can assist a family in transition.
This items are confidential and UPS in not privy to any services we seek out for any reason.
Like BB said in post above, seek professional advice and discount the opinions in this thread.
Starting a thread, like this, is acknowledging you recognize you need help.
This is a step in healing.
And I am glad he did. His regular insurance will cover some visits, no need to set EAP in place. JMHO
To me, once you contact EAP, you are in trouble. Once again, jmho. And I no longer, if ever expect privacy in matters personal. Once you go into EAP, I feel you may be monitored.....................
I went to the website, you should go there, some good advice. I just think before I enrolled, I would do it on my own. JMHO
I would stay as far away from EAP as I could get.
Do you truly think the company is gonna pay for this and not want the details of what they are paying for?
I think the EAP is just a token gesture to show the world how much the company supposedly cares about its employees.
Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it's impossible to get it back in.
I used the EAP benefit when I was DX'd with Multiple Sclerosis. Those words destroyed me, "...you have MS."
I was so afraid it would get out that I kept a diary with the names of those I told. I thought the doctor's were crazy and misdiagnosed me.
I contacted EAP when suicide seemed like a viable option to an uncertain future like I was facing.
I am sorry so many people feel a serious distrust in EAP.
This program can make a different in your life and it is not all about mental health issues.
After pointing a few coworkers in this direction and my own experience.