Memo from International Motherhood of Beamsters:
Biten Message
RE: UPS Diad 4
Our union is very concerned about the leaps in technology with the new Diad 4. Specifically, our area of concern is the ability of management to have both visual and audio surveillance capability on our members. With this in mind the IMB has contracted with the most advanced minds to come up with counter-measures.
For the video function a special override feature will be secretly embedded so that whenever our members decide to "coast" on the job they press a function key and the video signal will be replaced with the Golf Channel. To further insure that management will be captured by the video switch, special sublimnal signals tuned to the brain patterns of management will insure that our members will not be harassed.
As for the audio, all upper management offices will be bugged and then these signals will be piggybacked and fed back to the center manager. Your union feels this management on management ease dropping will be so successful that the various center management teams will be more interested in what upper management is saying and doing that they will request our members to permenantly have this function on and they will forget about our members leaving them to continue to screw off and milk the clock like we've always done.
Now this is really silly isn't it?