MT3: I'm Here To Answer Your Questions!!

Mr. 7

The monkey on the left.
Matt,
MFE has bragged about how "hot" his wife is. I'm sure you know the lass, is it true?
Feel free to answer me via PM if the truth hurts.
 

Goldilocks

Well-Known Member
MT3, Tell me why Fedex has lied to us? Before you came on, we have been told over and over again that Fedex will never be like UPS. We are a more caring company that care's about its employee's. We have been told over and over again that our GFT process is much more superior than any Union. Why has this system failed it's employee's? Why do you hate the ones that drive this company, the couriers?
 

HomeDelivery

Well-Known Member
MT3, Tell me why Fedex has lied to us? Before you came on, we have been told over and over again that Fedex will never be like UPS. We are a more caring company that care's about its employee's. We have been told over and over again that our GFT process is much more superior than any Union. Why has this system failed it's employee's? Why do you hate the ones that drive this company, the couriers?

you've got it wrong... FedEx Express will be like Ground. they saw how much more profit that these immigrants are brining in & since the Ground network is now just as fast, if not, faster than UPS's network, the shippers are taking notice.

they're going to shove the legacy couriers aside in place for PT workers ~ AM & PM shifts, is my guess since DRA is now in effect & will take the thinking out of delivering envelopes :P #sarcasm
 

MrFedEx

Engorged Member
MT3, Tell me why Fedex has lied to us? Before you came on, we have been told over and over again that Fedex will never be like UPS. We are a more caring company that care's about its employee's. We have been told over and over again that our GFT process is much more superior than any Union. Why has this system failed it's employee's? Why do you hate the ones that drive this company, the couriers?

Dear Goldilocks,

Great question!! FedEx never lies to employees!! We are always honest and truthful...especially me!! Unions are very bad!! Did you know that your union dues would be $600 per week if you signed a card and made a deal with Mr. Hoffa? I have confidence that our GFT and Open Door programs are far superior to any union thug representation. Did you know that if you went union, that mobsters and hoods would come to your house and beat you and your children up? Or that they hang around the parking lot and slash the tires on your cars? All TRUE!!

Here's the real truth!! UPS drivers really only make about $10 per hour after you subtract their union dues. You can take that to the bank, because your Uncle Matt cares about YOU!!!

XOXOXO,
Matt
 

Goldilocks

Well-Known Member
you've got it wrong... FedEx Express will be like Ground. they saw how much more profit that these immigrants are brining in & since the Ground network is now just as fast, if not, faster than UPS's network, the shippers are taking notice.

they're going to shove the legacy couriers aside in place for PT workers ~ AM & PM shifts, is my guess since DRA is now in effect & will take the thinking out of delivering envelopes :P #sarcasm


I hope you guys are watching your fate happen. Because this too will happen to you in years to come.....
 

Goldilocks

Well-Known Member
Dear Goldilocks,

Great question!! FedEx never lies to employees!! We are always honest and truthful...especially me!! Unions are very bad!! Did you know that your union dues would be $600 per week if you signed a card and made a deal with Mr. Hoffa? I have confidence that our GFT and Open Door programs are far superior to any union thug representation. Did you know that if you went union, that mobsters and hoods would come to your house and beat you and your children up? Or that they hang around the parking lot and slash the tires on your cars? All TRUE!!

Here's the real truth!! UPS drivers really only make about $10 per hour after you subtract their union dues. You can take that to the bank, because your Uncle Matt cares about YOU!!!

XOXOXO,
Matt


You have also told us that the Union would take our pension. Is this another propaganda statement?
 

CSS Service

New Member
Hi Matt,
I came across two stories on the web where two of your high ranking executive's peers have purchased vacation homes in Florida, one of them cost $ 6.8 million dollars. Do you have any plans on purchasing a vacation home this holiday season with your bonus? I would love to order some long pants for the winter can you look into this for me.

Have a great Peak
 

Route 66

Slapped Upside-da-Head Member
Dear Mr. Thornton

I've heard tell that you have a very teeny tiny weeniss....but um...you're a black man. What's the story here?
 

MrFedEx

Engorged Member
Hi Matt,
I came across two stories on the web where two of your high ranking executive's peers have purchased vacation homes in Florida, one of them cost $ 6.8 million dollars. Do you have any plans on purchasing a vacation home this holiday season with your bonus? I would love to order some long pants for the winter can you look into this for me.

Have a great Peak

Dear CSS,

Great question!! Hope you're living the Purple Promise!! I have 3 very nice homes right now, 1 in Chicago and 1 in Memphis and a third in an undisclosed location. But, yes, the wife and I are thinking about something more private, perhaps our own island somewhere. It needs to have a landing strip, because Happy Hands 1 goes where I go, and I am SO valuable, that I need to jet wherever I go. The best thing to remember is that I am important and you are not. It's very acceptable to me that you should do without so I can have even more!! You are lucky to have a job at a world-class company like FedEx!! Maybe you should show some initiative and go out and buy yourself some new pants?

Stay Warm,
MT3
 

thedownhillEXPRESS

Well-Known Member
I have another question.
When you sold your soul to the devil, did you get it as a lump sum "portable" type payment or a more "traditional" lifetime secure monthly check.

thanks for screwing us and happy thanksgiving!!!
 

MrFedEx

Engorged Member
I have another question.
When you sold your soul to the devil, did you get it as a lump sum "portable" type payment or a more "traditional" lifetime secure monthly check.

thanks for screwing us and happy thanksgiving!!!

Hi Downhill!!
Gee whiz...more great questions!! When I sold my soul to Satan I got a "traditional" payout of $2M per year for the rest of my life here on Earth and then a mansion on The Lake of Fire next to Fred when I head down below. One condition in my pact with the devil was that I had to mistreat FedEx employees and make life Hell on Earth for them, and I'm happy to say I have exceeded my goals!!

If I could get everyone up to 200% of goal, Satan said he'd give me an average size weenis, but I'm sad to say I'm still Matt "Thimble" Thornton for now. I'm always happy to screw you, but you'll never know if it's in or not!!
Love,
Uncle Matt
 

Route 66

Slapped Upside-da-Head Member
I would like to nominate this for 'Thread of the Year'.... I haven't laughed so much since Goldi did that bogus open letter BZ to Fred. This is great stuff and MT3 deserves a ton of credit for so patiently and eloquently answering all of our questions.


oh, and again, thanks to MFE for hosting it. At least he contributed something

:happy-very:
 

DontThrowPackages

Well-Known Member
Hi Matt,
I came across two stories on the web where two of your high ranking executive's peers have purchased vacation homes in Florida, one of them cost $ 6.8 million dollars. Do you have any plans on purchasing a vacation home this holiday season with your bonus? I would love to order some long pants for the winter can you look into this for me.


Have a great Peak
Can't help but think of that scene in Oliver Twist..."More Please?" :laugh::laugh:
 

Goldilocks

Well-Known Member
Hi Downhill!!
Gee whiz...more great questions!! When I sold my soul to Satan I got a "traditional" payout of $2M per year for the rest of my life here on Earth and then a mansion on The Lake of Fire next to Fred when I head down below. One condition in my pact with the devil was that I had to mistreat FedEx employees and make life Hell on Earth for them, and I'm happy to say I have exceeded my goals!!

If I could get everyone up to 200% of goal, Satan said he'd give me an average size weenis, but I'm sad to say I'm still Matt "Thimble" Thornton for now. I'm always happy to screw you, but you'll never know if it's in or not!!
Love,
Uncle Matt

:rofl:
 

Goldilocks

Well-Known Member
I would like to nominate this for 'Thread of the Year'.... I haven't laughed so much since Goldi did that bogus open letter BZ to Fred. This is great stuff and MT3 deserves a ton of credit for so patiently and eloquently answering all of our questions.


oh, and again, thanks to MFE for hosting it. At least he contributed something

:happy-very:


I believed it until I finally watched "our leaders" selling their souls to the investors last October. I hope they get what they deserve..I thought our fearless leader had the values of the Marine Corps, I have always held them to the highest standard. Very disappointing.
Honor: Honor requires each Marine to exemplify the ultimate standard in ethical and moral conduct. Honor is many things; honor requires many things. A U.S. Marine must never lie, never cheat, never steal, but that is not enough. Much more is required. Each Marine must cling to an uncompromising code of personal integrity, accountable for his actions and holding others accountable for theirs. And, above all, honor mandates that a Marine never sully the reputation of his Corps.
Courage: Simply stated, courage is honor in action -- and more. Courage is moral strength, the will to heed the inner voice of conscience, the will to do what is right regardless of the conduct of others. It is mental discipline, an adherence to a higher standard. Courage means willingness to take a stand for what is right in spite of adverse consequences. This courage, throughout the history of the Corps, has sustained Marines during the chaos, perils, and hardships of combat. And each day, it enables each Marine to look in the mirror -- and smile.
Commitment: Total dedication to Corps and Country. Gung-ho Marine teamwork. All for one, one for all. By whatever name or cliche, commitment is a combination of (1) selfless determination and (2) a relentless dedication to excellence. Marines never give up, never give in, never willingly accept second best. Excellence is always the goal. And, when their active duty days are over, Marines remain reserve Marines, retired Marines, or Marine veterans. There is no such thing as an ex-Marine or former-Marine. Once a Marine, always a Marine. Commitment never dies.
 

DontThrowPackages

Well-Known Member
Mr MT3,
I'm on my last 3 decent shirts. My question is, once they turn to rags, can I, as I've seen the postal workers, wear just a blue t-shirt? Oh and maybe blue sweat pants just for when I catch the bus to work some mornings? I've figure this way I don't cost anyone money they don't have plus I'll be comfortable at the same time.
 

MrFedEx

Engorged Member
Mr MT3,
I'm on my last 3 decent shirts. My question is, once they turn to rags, can I, as I've seen the postal workers, wear just a blue t-shirt? Oh and maybe blue sweat pants just for when I catch the bus to work some mornings? I've figure this way I don't cost anyone money they don't have plus I'll be comfortable at the same time.

Dear DTP,

Sorry for the delay!! I was checking on the new ostrich leather interior being installed in my new private jet, Happy Hands 2. Boy, is she one sweet ride! Anyway, back to your very important question! Your appearance is crucial to FedEx, and that's why I've started the Management Color Bar (MCB) Program. Soon, our engineers here in Memphis will be sending out a MCB Job Aid to each manager so they can evaluate the colors of your uniform. If your shirt is Robin's Egg Blue, for example, it's still acceptable to wear. If it is completely white it is no longer an acceptable uniform garment. We still won't replace it, because that would cost Fred money.

I'm sorry, but sweat shirts and t-shirts are unprofessional attire. The correct solution in this instance is for you to go out and purchase your own uniform items, either from a fellow courier, eBay, or a thrift store. This way, you can still look sharp, and I'll be looking good when Fred takes me out back of the main house for our weekly chat. The last few times, my bottom was burning, let me tell you. Master Smith wants plantation costs even lower.

I had better go. They are installing the gold-plated accessories in my new jet, and I don't want any mistakes!!

I Care,
Matt
 
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