UPS driver poem

upsgrunt

Well-Known Member
One of my customer gave this poem to me; it is by Alice N. Persons.

Why I Have A Crush On You, UPS Man

you bring me all the things I order
are never in a bad mood
always have a jaunty wave as you drive away
look good in your brown shorts
we have an ideal uncomplicated relationship
you're like a cute boyfriend with great legs
who always brings me the perfect present
(why, it's just what I've always wanted!)
and then is considerate enough to go away
oh, UPS Man, let's hop in your clean brown truck and elope!

ditch your job, I'll ditch mine
let's hit the road for Brownsville
and tempt each other
with all the luscious brown foods-
roast beef, dark chocolate,
brownies, Guinness, homemade pumpernickel, molasses cookies
I'll make you my mamma's bourbon pecan pie
we'll give all the packages to kind looking strangers
live in a cozy wood cabin
with a brown dog or two
and a black and brown tabby
I'm serious, UPS Man. Let's do it.
Where do I sign?


It always looks better from the other side of the fence, doesn't it?
 

MR_Vengeance

United Parcel Survivor
Why I hate you , my UPS customer

I bring all the crap you order because it is my job.
I am in a bad mood, you just too dumb to tell
I only wave because I hope it was the last time I will see your face again
Only to find out there a over 70 box for you in the back of my van
yes I do have nice legs and looks good in my brown shorts,
thanks to all you soccer moms that just won't stop with your QVC lists.
I'm not your boyfriend and i will never be,
So stop day dreaming and find yourself a job.
 

diesel96

Well-Known Member
Alice N Persons ?

Why I have to crush my UPS Guy.
"cause I want my ups guy to grunt"

UPS Man, let's hop in your clean brown truck and elope!
(make sure you write up the jump seat for extra reinforcement)

And tempt each otherwith all the luscious brown foods-
roast beef, dark chocolate,brownies, Guinness, homemade pumpernickel, molasses cookies.
I'll make you my mamma's bourbon pecan pie.
"I want my baby back...baby back....baby back...RIBS!"

My apologies for acting like "Shallow Hal"
 

moreluck

golden ticket member
Finish this poem.....

I get the big scene
In my brown machine
Driving for many miles
To deliver the smiles
To folks who wait in anticipation
for me to ........................................................
 

BLACKBOX

Life is a Highway...
Alice N Persons ?

Why I have to crush my UPS Guy.
"cause I want my ups guy to grunt"

UPS Man, let's hop in your clean brown truck and elope!
(make sure you write up the jump seat for extra reinforcement)

And tempt each otherwith all the luscious brown foods-
roast beef, dark chocolate,brownies, Guinness, homemade pumpernickel, molasses cookies.
I'll make you my mamma's bourbon pecan pie.
"I want my baby back...baby back....baby back...RIBS!"

My apologies for acting like "Shallow Hal"

YIKES!!!!!!!!!!
 

over9five

Moderator
Staff member
I get the big scene
In my brown machine
Driving for many miles
To deliver the smiles
To folks who wait in anticipation
for me to change my Sirius station!

(For Diesel!)
 

moreluck

golden ticket member
Finish the limerick..

There once was a driver from Portland
His name was Terry Cortland
He drove Brown with pride
Had pep in his stride
......................................................................
 

satellitedriver

Moderator
Finish the limerick..

There once was a driver from Portland
His name was Terry Cortland
He drove Brown with pride
Had pep in his stride
......................................................................
And said,"meet me at midnight sort and...?"

Best I could do on short notice.
 
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moreluck

golden ticket member
Finish the limerick..

There once was a driver from Portland
His name was Terry Cortland
He drove Brown with pride
Had pep in his stride

Got hurt and they put him in Sort-land. :)
 

satellitedriver

Moderator
Maybe, this should be a new thread.
Until then,

There once was someone called MoreLuck,
not sure if she ever has driven a truck.
Her recipes were good,
and her qoutes said what they should.
....................................... ..........

Finish this one.
PAX
 

over9five

Moderator
Staff member
There once was someone called MoreLuck,
not sure if she ever has driven a truck.
Her recipes were good,
and her qoutes said what they should.
I'm not sure if they're stolen or dumb-luck!
 
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