From The Chairman: Transition to Ground

Discussion in 'FedEx Discussions' started by MrFedEx, Feb 16, 2020.

  1. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    Dear Team,

    My sincere thanks to all of you at Express for bending over extra deep and gaping for me this time around. Man, have I ever screwed you this time, and, once again, I'll probably get away with it.

    I've been floating this idea for years as a way to reduce costs and line my pockets and now my prayers have been answered. I'm just hoping the courts don't find that I've actually integrated Ground and Express (I have), but think that I'm just "contracting" Express services out to Ground, because, after all (wink, wink), they're all independent contractors. I'm laughing so hard now I almost spilled my bourbon and Coke, Dano!! Fetch me a fresh one, and then wax the Bentley!! Chop, Chop, my lackey!!

    I'd like to thank Dano and the rest of the management team for being complicit in this scheme. We set you up by killing the PPA, and then drove you home to Cleveland with the pass-off to Ground. Look forward to vastly reduced hours, even tinier paychecks, and, eventually, a part-time Express operation. Until we can jettison all of the high cost Legacy Employees, we'll have long split shifts, later start times, and more cuts to benefits in an effort to finally get the old timers to leave and fresh new Third World blood to replace then at around $15-$16 per hour. Ahh, I almost got an erection over that one!! I haven't had wood for years, but this is actually making me hard!

    The one thing bothering me is that some smart Commie attorney types will say that we've actually combined Express and Ground, making my precious RLA Exemption invalid. Mitch McConnell and all of my Republican friends have assured me that they (and the courts) will have my back, but I'm not sure I'm going to get away with this scam, because that's what it is.

    For all of you that are hoping for buyouts, better buy some prayer beads. Only UNION employees with a CONTRACT get buyouts because that contract holds me accountable. Since you were all too stupid to vote in a union (THANK YOU, vantexan!!), you're not getting squat except my boot in your ass as you leave, hopefully sonner than later. Bwahahahahah!!

    Sure, we're "vending out" Express to Ground, but all of us really know it's just a ploy to combine Ground and Express and pay less in wages and cut costs. Total scam, and we'll see if it flies. Like I said, we've been planning this for years, but a Republican controlled Senate and GOP-friendly courts make this time to pull the trigger. Trump says he cares about workers (LOFL), and I am literally screwing my Express workers blind!! This is SO good, and I am going to worm my smarmy way through it just like I always have, with my army of attorneys and bought and paid for politicians on both sides who will let this "travesty for workers" happen. God, I'm good!!

    In the meantime, I've directed all of the management team to pretend they care (they don't), have listening and feedback sessions (LOL), and convince our Frontline Team Members that WE CARE and that PSP is still the law of the land at Express.

    I mean, really, I just about threw up in my mouth over that whopper!! But, as always, we have the Purple People and various other deniers who will let me get away with this...again!! It really is unbelievable how ignorant and gullible so many of you are about both who I am and how I operate.

    Here it is. It's all about me and $$$, and it always has been. All of the talk about "caring", PSP and valuing employees is like a discarded clam shell on the beach. Dead, meaningless, and of zero value. I'm your capitalist entrepreneur nightmare workers, and this is my ultimate power your expense, of course.

    So, keep being stupid, work harder, not smarter, and help me pull of this incredible scam. In the meantime, I'll be turning the screws on Ground contractors to try and make their agreements less profitable for them.

    FedEx will keep pumping out the BS and misinformation, and, hopefully, you'll all take your medicine like good little sheeple. Now all I have to do is keep this out of the legal system and let my social media flaks and shills work their magic. I'm juicing my politician buddies for all they're worth to support this, and I know they have my back.

    Thanks for being suckers!!

    Weaselfully Yours,

    Frederick "Grinch" Smith
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    Last edited: Feb 16, 2020
  2. dezguy

    dezguy Well-Known Member

    Dude, you have waaaay too much time on your hands.
  3. Nolimitz

    Nolimitz Well-Known Member

    He has a valid point. Sad but true!
  4. vantexan

    vantexan Well-Known Member

    You know you've hit a nerve when MrFedEx includes you in his rant, LOL. What vote? If there had been one I'd have voted for the union! Why aren't you ripping your fellow Democrats? They're the ones responsible for Express not getting a union in you dope.
  5. fatboy33

    fatboy33 Active Member

    THat's Mr. Fedx. He probably knocked that commentary out in 5 minutes.
  6. 59 Dano

    59 Dano I just want to make friends!

    Have to let the guy take his victory lap. No reason for one, but he thinks he's won and he's going to take one anyway, LOL!
  7. 59 Dano

    59 Dano I just want to make friends!

    Brevity is the soul of wit.
  8. vantexan

    vantexan Well-Known Member

    Then he is witless.
  9. Nolimitz

    Nolimitz Well-Known Member

    like you would have a clue
  10. vantexan

    vantexan Well-Known Member

  11. floridays

    floridays Well-Known Member

    Seriously, didn't you know this would happen as soon as ground got up to speed coverage wide? Btw, I didn't even read his post, but anyone with a brain that was honest knew it would go this way. Markets and investors guarantee it. Understood?
  12. bacha29

    bacha29 Well-Known Member

    Spot on man. The question is why would anyone be willing to put more money and more potential liability at risk for no other reason that the opportunity to haul more of Fat Freddy's boxes for a LOWER RATE than they hauled it for previously? It comes down once again to the ongoing race to the bottom.
    Now people like IWBF are jumping up and down like stud horses aroused by what they have been told will be a huge increase in stop density allowing for more SPH. Might get it but will there be enough of it to justify doing it at such a cut rate.?

    Now these people think entirely in terms of SPH. Out where I come from you think in terms of SPM Stops Per Mile. And there's no way those cut rate boxes will ever pay for themselves out in rural America.

    Going to be tough paying drivers that long standing buck a box when the box is only paying a buck to begin with.
  13. 59 Dano

    59 Dano I just want to make friends!

    No. I cannot understand -at all- how markets and investors would guarantee some degree of integration. It is completely and totally unfathomable how such a thing could happen. This is probably the first time that such a thing has happened.
  14. bbsam

    bbsam Moderator Staff Member

    Say it bitches!


    MAKAVELI Well-Known Member

  16. Cactus

    Cactus Just telling it like it is

    Not me. I'm retired.

    Have a riot with the extra work.
  17. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    10 minutes. FedEx isn't worth wasting much time on. However, I still feel for Smith's victims.
  18. It will be fine

    It will be fine Well-Known Member

    You know we get paid more the more work we do, right?
  19. Cactus

    Cactus Just telling it like it is

    Who do mean by “we”?
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  20. bbsam

    bbsam Moderator Staff Member

    You know, “We.” The ones that matter.