My helper fed goats today...

Discussion in 'UPS Discussions' started by soberups, Dec 20, 2014.

  1. soberups

    soberups Pees in the brown Koolaid

    ...as well as handing out half a box of dog biscuits to dozens of my various canine customers.

    He also got to help unload an anvil, and watch a horse getting shoed. He got to see an equine veterinarian performing a proctology exam on a horse, which involves encasing your entire arm in a plastic glove, coating the glove with lube, and then inserting your arm into the horse's anus clear up to your shoulder. He saw 12 deer, 2 coyotes, a rabbit, a skunk, and a wide variety of domestic farm animals on a guided tour of Oregon's wine country that culminated in getting to watch a group of hang gliders jump off of a 1200 ft cliff that we were parked next to.

    The dog thing was funny, because when he first got on car I asked him what sort of orientation and training he had been given. He said zero DIAD training, but there had a big lecture on the do's and dont's of how to avoid dog bites; the standard UPS spiel on "dont give dog treats, back away when threatened, speak in a firm voice, never turn your back or try to run, us the DIAD or a package as a shield" blah blah blah. I told him to ignore all that nonsense and do it MY way, which meant just filling up his pockets with dog biscuits, letting the dogs jump up into the cab when they wanted to, and generally just handing out the biscuits and the good will and making a bunch of new four-legged friends. I'm glad to say he saw the wisdom in my words. He wound up with lots of muddy paw prints and doggy slobber all over his pullover, but zero dog bites or threatening occurrences.

    Oh, I almost forgot to mention; he even delivered a few packages for me throughout the day!
     
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    Last edited: Dec 20, 2014
  2. My Dixie Normous

    My Dixie Normous New Member

    Where do I sign up for this UPS safari?
     
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  3. Pooter

    Pooter Active Member

    Back of the line Dixie! >:(

    :D
     
  4. UpstateNYUPSer

    UpstateNYUPSer Very proud grandfather.

    Sounds like a route where a helper may not really be needed.
     
  5. joeboodog

    joeboodog good people drink good beer

    May not be needed but corporate has decided all must have a helper. I am getting a helper with a dispatch that is just a little heavy. I just work as directed.
     
  6. UpstateNYUPSer

    UpstateNYUPSer Very proud grandfather.

    Does that direction include gathering 2 of each animal?
     
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  7. joeboodog

    joeboodog good people drink good beer

    As long as there is a paycheck involved...
     
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  8. Johney

    Johney Raise your hand if you think Upstate is a D-Bag

    My Dixie Normous? Really? Where do they come up with this stuff?
     
  9. Indecisi0n

    Indecisi0n Well-Known Member

    I saw a fly yesterday.
     
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  10. MyTripisCut

    MyTripisCut Well-Known Member

    My helper saw two homeless people and a drug dealer yesterday
     
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  11. Wally

    Wally Hailing from Parts Unknown.

    I helper is too busy keeping me warm. "Shut that door on the way out".
     
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  12. HEFFERNAN

    HEFFERNAN Huge Member

    My helper saw a hit and run, some wild turkeys, unloaded a 149 lb bed on Monday- loaded a 149 lb bed on Wednesday and some luscious melons.

    Pretty much same experience without the hand in Mr. Ed's ass
    [​IMG]

    LOL :bigsmile2:
     
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  13. brownmonster

    brownmonster Man of Great Wisdom

    I have yet to have a helper.
     
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  14. Richard Harrow

    Richard Harrow Deplorable.

    ...and I'll be using this to my advantage. They will stick the helper with me at least 1 day in the next 3 weeks when I will decidedly not need him (let's say 140 stops). I will make note of this particular day in my records. Then in early February, I'll file for over 9.5 when I get three days of 145 in 1 week (the week before Valentines Day is always an opportune one) and my justification for the grievance will be that the helper was stuck with me for a lesser dispatch.

    UPS makes it all too easy sometimes.
     
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  15. Nice zipper?
     
  16. Richard Harrow

    Richard Harrow Deplorable.

    My helper delivered to a homeless shelter and is a drug dealer. Top that.
     
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  17. bleedinbrown58

    bleedinbrown58 ahhh....the mouth breathers

    images-1.jpeg
     
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  18. Big Arrow Down...D

    Big Arrow Down...D Leave the gun,take the cannoli

    I have two helpers both named Mo
    And a walker with 7kids
     
  19. I had a customers goat get into the back of my truck years back while I was looking for their package. I couldn't get the goat out of the back of the truck for about five minutes. I called the center and they didn't know what to do. Then finally the woman who's goat it was came out of the house yelling at me. She said what the hell are you doing with my goat in your truck? I said trying to get the thing out so I can leave. She said the only way the goat would have come in the truck is if I invited it. I said whatever. Please get him out of my truck she did and I have this weird story that I have to tell.
     
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  20. AirOnTrace

    AirOnTrace Allergic to cardboard.

    The past two weeks and a half weeks I had a 300 stop resi route with a great helper. Yesterday I almost hit a goat, got stuck, and chased a deer about 500 yards.
     
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