(Sung to "Beauty School Drop-out by Frankie Avalon)
Your story's sad to tell, a middle age ne'er-do-well
Most mixed up driver at the hub
Your future's so clear now,
what's left of your career now
Can't even get a transfer to porter or clerk
Feeder school drop-out, no graduation day for you
Feeder school drop-out, can't alley dock
or set up doubles too
Well at least you could have taken time to clean your rookie striped, grease stained clothes today
After the company spent all that dough to send you to driving school to get you your Class A
Service Provider get moving (better get moving),
why keep your feeble hopes alive
What are you proving (what are you proving)?
You've got the dream, but you can't drive
If you go back to package, you might get a better route
Turn in your pin puller and go back to hearing your supervisor scream and shout
Feeder school drop-out, hangin' around watching tv by the feeder lunchroom door
Feeder school drop-out, it's about time you knew the score
Well they couldn't teach you anything,
you think you're such a looker
But no customer would go to you,
unless she was a lot lizard hooker!
Service Provider don't sweat it (don't sweat it),
you're not cut out to drive the truck
Better forget it (forget it), that you didn't run over someone is pure luck
Now your shifts are missed, your air lines hiss,
and operating the IVIS drives you mad
Wipe off that fifth wheel grease and go back to the DIAD
Service Provider don't blow it, don't put my good advice to shame
Service Provider you know it, even Swift drivers say the same
Now I've called the shot, get off the lot, I really gotta fly
Gotta be goin' to that truck stop in the sky
Feeder school drop-out, go back to your package car
Feeder school drop-out, go back to your package car
Feeder school drop-out, go back to your package car
(I know, I know, it's terrible
)