Jokes you've heard a hundred times

[KoennenTiger]

As a driver you go from place to place and see people "for the first time" every day, all day. I hear jokes from em, all day, every day. From the folks who can't actually talk to you and realize you're the exact same person there, every single day.

What jokes do you hear?

"Bring me a box of money next time" har har har

"Oh you brought me a box of money!" hardy har har never heard that one

"Hey while you're here take some of this air conditioning" lol

I will I'm climbing on your roof and tearing your ac unit off it's going on top of my truck now. 15' height limit

"The FedEx guy is right in front of you. Which truck will win har har?" (looks around at all the fat office cows who moo back). Chat with the X guy as we leave. Hear the moooooos in the background

Duuuurrrh "that box looks heavy" duuuurrrhh

What do you guys hear every day at every stop from every single anon drone who for some reason thinks they need to make a comment, but never actually talk to you?

 

[detmaintainer]

Do you know why UPS removed the little metal Bulldogs from the hoods of its trucks?

Because UPS isn't going to pay one to sit there and look at another all day.

 

[detmaintainer]

A _ _ hole

 

[Knothead]

"Is it raining out there?" Dur hur hur dur hur

 

[ibleedbrown]

I heard UPS and FedEx are merging, they will be called FedUp dur hur Hur I thought you guys don't make left turns? Dur Hur!

 

[Future]

I heard UPS stands for United Pot smokers ........




ing s!

 

[Future]

"Is it raining out there?" Dur hur hur dur hur

Stay dry !

 

[oldngray]

Nothing tops the "Did you hear UPS and FedEx are merging" joke

 

[Future]

Nothing tops the "Did you hear UPS and FedEx are merging" joke

Heard it this week ...swear 2 God I felt like punching this guy in the head

 

[MECH-lift]

i love when customers try to argue with you on how many boxes they should have ...” are you sure there isn’t another one? It says I should I have two boxes”

Da hur hur har har

 

[Future]

i love when customers try to argue with you on how many boxes they should have ...” are you sure there isn’t another one? It says I should I have two boxes”

Da hur hur har har

9x out of 10 ...it was a surepost and went 2 the post office

 

[Wontmake9.5]

Hey can you take this package? No it’s usps I am ups. Customer standing there confused. Also stay dry out there. Yea sure I lll stay dry in a thunderstorm thanks Nancy.

 

[MECH-lift]

Hey can you take this package? No it’s usps I am ups. Customer standing there confused. Also stay dry out there. Yea sure I lll stay dry in a thunderstorm thanks Nancy.

I just take any box now lol, USPS , FEDEX I just toss it in the truck and go , no use arguing with them

 

[olroadbeech]

I heard UPS and FedEx are merging, they will be called FedUp dur hur Hur I thought you guys don't make left turns? Dur Hur!

I hear that one all the time.

I say "wow , never heard that one before , har har har " jeesus in christ

 

[MECH-lift]

Fedex + UPS = amazon

 

[Hump dump and roll]

Nothing tops the "Did you hear UPS and FedEx are merging" joke

One time I replied with Upsex and the dude corrected me. I laughed and said I like upsex better. Prude didn’t find it funny but I did.

 

[Fred's Myth]

Heard it this week ...swear 2 God I felt like punching this guy in the head

Just tell ‘em it’ll be called UPSEX instead.

 

[RuthlessSupSlayer]

Nothing tops the "Did you hear UPS and FedEx are merging" joke

My response is "oh yeah I did it's going to be called 'Up yours' or 'AllUpInUrExWife'

 

[RuthlessSupSlayer]

i love when customers try to argue with you on how many boxes they should have ...” are you sure there isn’t another one? It says I should I have two boxes”

Da hur hur har har

"let me look (no delay while pulling my diad to my face) nope but if I find it we will be back tomorrow"

 

[RuthlessSupSlayer]

Cust: Oh is there money in there?

Me: Yeah the faster you sign the more that'll be in there. (When business needed sigs)

Another one

Cust: What is it?

Me: A box, I'd rather not know what's in it I prefer Plausible deniability.