Parody of Managment's MIP

Discussion in 'UPS Partners' started by SimpleUPSer, Dec 8, 2007.

  1. SimpleUPSer

    SimpleUPSer Member

    I received this e-mail yesterday. Really gave me a good chuckle.

    New Benefit Announcement
    In order to better align the Holiday Turkey program with our Strategic Imperatives and our Corporate Mission and to make you all focus on the right things, the program has been improved. Instead of getting a Holiday Turkey, you will receive one half of a turkey this year. Next year you will receive another new half turkey in addition to the other wing from this year's turkey. You will receive an additional part of the turkey for the next five years, at which time you will receive a whole turkey again. Well, not really a whole turkey. Part of a new turkey and parts of some five year old turkeys. This is a benefit to all participants because it is more "flexible" than the old turkey program. In addition, Certain senior mangers will receive up to 250% of an additional turkey if they meet certain performance elements, e.g. make it to work 3 days out of 5 most of the time, and arrive at the office by 7am, but sit in the conference room BS with each other and drinking coffee until at least 9:30.
    Merry Christmas
  2. brownrodster

    brownrodster New Member

    we didn't get turkey's at my center this year. what's up with that?
  3. diesel96

    diesel96 New Member

    P E T A----people for the etical treatment of animals:dissapointed:
  4. jlphotog

    jlphotog Member

    "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly."

    Arthur Carlson

    "Cincinnati, OH--An advertising stunt dreamed up by a local Cincinnati radio station went terribly wrong when twenty live turkeys plummeted to their deaths after being dropped out of a helicopter under the misguided assumption that they would all just fly away.

    "The turkeys were hitting the ground like sacks of wet cement," stated Les Nessman, who reported the event live for station WKRP from the parking lot of the Pinedale shopping mall.

    "It was just terrible. People started to panic and were running around the parking lot screaming. One of the turkeys even crashed right through the windshield of a parked car."

    Station Manager Arthur Carlson took full responsibility for the chaos caused by the Thanksgiving Day promotion, claiming that "as God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly."

    The station promises to fully reimburse anybody who suffered property damage as a result of this stunt.

    WKRP is a "beautiful music" station that ranks 16th in the 18 station Cincinnati market. They are currently considering a format change in hopes of boosting their dismal ratings."
  5. hangin455

    hangin455 Member

    You left out that you'll have to start paying for part of that turkey next year.....
  6. magoo57

    magoo57 Member

    jlphotog, that episode of WKRP may have beenthe funniest half-hour that television has ever produced. Thanks for giving me a belly laugh for the memory!
  7. Baba gounj

    Baba gounj pensioner

    One of the BEST shows ever.
  8. brownmonster

    brownmonster Man of Great Wisdom

    My wife won't let me hang up my old Lonnie Anderson poster.
  9. rod

    rod retired and happy

    Last time I saw her she looked like 10 miles of bad road but she was one well built gal on WKRP:taz: