When the crapheads of the world have you cornered, don't grovel or beg... That's when you double down and hard. Go memorably big, so that it haunts them the rest of their career.
Come to the hearing completely hammered -- try to bring a drunk hooker in as well, they won't let her, but make sure they see. When they figure out you are blotto, go ahead and puke all over the hearing table, or some

within reach.
If you can't manage that, start practicing your projectile vomiting now, while you still have time. Also, use some stimulants so you are sure to be effective, and it will make the whole process easier.