Your best worst jokes..

[AsweetGirl]

I'm sure I posted these on another joke thread, but just in case you haven't read them






What type of hair do they sell at Wafflehouse?



Eggstensions

 

[AsweetGirl]

How do billboards communicate?






















Sign language

 

[moreluck]

Buckwheat of the Little Rascals fame grew up, became a Muslim, and changed his name. He now goes by Kareem of Wheat.

 

[moreluck]

You might be a redneck if...

Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair.

Your dad is also your favorite uncle.

Your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.

During your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

You're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.

On your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.

Your parakeet knows the phrase "Open up, Police!"

You saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deer hunting.

In tough situations you ask yourself, "What would Curly do?"

Taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen

 

[moreluck]

 

[moreluck]

The old couple were planning to go on a second honeymoon for their 50th wedding anniversary. The old woman said, "We will go to all the same places that we did on our first honeymoon."

"Uh huh," said the old man.

"We will do all the things that we did on our first honeymoon," said the old woman.

"Uh huh," said the old man.

"And we will make love like we did on our first honeymoon," said the old woman.

"That's right," said the old man, "except this time I get to sit on the side of the bed and cry, 'It's too big, it's too big!'"

 

[moreluck]

 

[moreluck]

`




https://www.pinterest.com/pin/279856564323307100/

 

[moreluck]

And Moses looked upon the Lord and said:
"We are your chosen people and you want us to cut the tips off of our WHAT?"

 

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[moreluck]

Laura Kightlinger: Christmas Sadness
My grandmother, she passed away at Christmas time. So now, I have this built in sadness, you know, every holiday. Cause Im plagued with the thought of, you know, what she would have given me. What didnt I get to open this year?

 

[moreluck]

 

[moreluck]

One man said to another, "I didn't sleep with my wife before I got married. How about you?"
The man replied, "I don't know. What was her maiden name?

 

[moreluck]

 

[moreluck]

What does the starship enterprise and tiolet paper have in common?
They both circle around uranus and wipe out klingons.

 

[Fred's Myth]

Jesus suddenly appeared in the boat of a Jewish fisherman in the middle of the Sea of Galilee. Startled, the fisherman demanded, "Who are you?"
Jesus replied, "I am the Resurrection, and your Salvation!"
Eying Jesus up and down, the fisherman finally exclaims, "Nah, you're not Jesus."
"What must I do to convince you?"
"Well, Jesus would be able to walk to the shore and back."
Smiling confidently, Jesus proceeded to step off the side of the boat, and began walking to shore, when He immediately sank to the bottom.
Laughing as he pulled a sputtering Jesus back into the boat, he said "See, I knew it. You aren't Jesus."
Embarrassed, Jesus wryly admitted "I forgot...I have holes in my feet now."

Best, worst, most distasteful but funniest one I've heard in awhile.