From Der Fuhrer

[MrFedEx]

I AM HEARING MANY STORIES OF FAILURE OF ALLEGIANCE TO ME AND TO FEDEX...I AM VERY UPSET!!! I have been so good to all of you, and you pay me back with poor performance and lies about me and this wonderful company.

What about PSP? What about our industry-leading benefits and interline travel? As it is, I pay all of you way too much for a minimum-wage level job that a monkey could do blindfolded? People are leaving FedEx...WHY? I give and I give, and you crap all over me.

My elite Security Squad will seek out non-believers and bring them to justice here in my bunker underneath the Memphis Airport. We are looking for you MrFedEx, Cactus, and Downhill Express. It is those like you that pollute the purity of PSP, The Purple Promise, and Guaranteed Fair Treatment that need to be hunted down like rats and exterminated.

There is a breed of employee that I seek. Those that are pure and of Purple Blood, willing to work for free, and willing to sacrifice all to me, your Fuhrer, and to our beloved company. Any others must be ferreted out and DESTROYED!

Profits are up, but they could be much higher if all of you would work harder for ME!! ARBEIT MACHT FREI!! (Work Makes You Free!). You reward is in Heaven, not here on Earth, so you must have a greater purpose. I AM THAT PURPOSE!!

WORSHIP ME!! LOVE ME!! I AM YOUR GOD!!

Profit is the highest purpose in your life. Forget yourself, your family, and your friends....I should be your only reason for existence and your dedication to FedEx and Memphis will be rewarded. Reveal the traitors to me!!

Brown shirts will be available to any and all who wlll unite with me.

Love,
Your Fuhrer

 

[oldngray]

Brown shirts? Switching to UPS now?

 

[Route 66]

I am sincerely sorry for my past minor mis-deeds, Uncle Adolph - er I mean Fred. It was that evil Mr. FedEx and Cactus and Downhill Express who put me up to it. I have always thought you were wonderful (and still do to this very day).

Those boys should be whipped (bare-bottomed) by Dano and forced to watch Frontline looped over and over again for at least one full hour while having copious amounts of purple Kool-Aid forced down their throats.

That'll learn the nasty miscreants.

Signed,
Your Ever Faithful Servant, '66

 

[MrFedEx]

I am sincerely sorry for my past minor mis-deeds, Uncle Adolph - er I mean Fred. It was that evil Mr. FedEx and Cactus and Downhill Express who put me up to it. I have always thought you were wonderful (and still do to this very day).

Those boys should be whipped (bare-bottomed) by Dano and forced to watch Frontline looped over and over again for at least one full hour while having copious amounts of purple Kool-Aid forced down their throats.

That'll learn the nasty miscreants.

Signed,
Your Ever Faithful Servant, '66

In my red-faced fury, I forgot to add your name to the list of the "Most Wanted". My secret police force will be in contact with you soon...you have been warned.

Love,
Adol...um Fred

 

[MrFedEx]

I am sincerely sorry for my past minor mis-deeds, Uncle Adolph - er I mean Fred. It was that evil Mr. FedEx and Cactus and Downhill Express who put me up to it. I have always thought you were wonderful (and still do to this very day).

Those boys should be whipped (bare-bottomed) by Dano and forced to watch Frontline looped over and over again for at least one full hour while having copious amounts of purple Kool-Aid forced down their throats.

That'll learn the nasty miscreants.

Signed,
Your Ever Faithful Servant, '66

I think there is room for an 11th member of this elite group of people.
Or, maybe this group.

 

[Route 66]

YIKES!!!

 

[CJinx]

Profit is the highest purpose in your life. Your professional life, anyway. Otherwise you wouldn't constantly be bitching about your pay. Just sayin'

 

[MrFedEx]

Profit is the highest purpose in your life. Your professional life, anyway. Otherwise you wouldn't constantly be bitching about your pay. Just sayin'

Gott, in Himmel!! I have found my fraulein. Is your name Eva, by chance?

 

[oldngray]

Gott, in Himmel!! I have found my fraulein. Is your name Eva, by chance?

 

[fred can shove it]

P.S.P= Profit in smith's Pocket.

ZIEG HEIL AND SMILE!!!!!!

ADD THE NAME OF Fred S CAN SHOVE IT TO THE LIST OF ENEMIES.

Bastogne

 

[SuperHandler]

Quit your bitching or prepare to bleed purple lazy boy.

 

[MrFedEx]

Quit your bitching or prepare to bleed purple lazy boy.

Is that Troll meter monitoring you, because you are either in dire need of treatment for Kool-Aid addiction or a company trollbot here to tell us just how "good" we have it at FedEx.

 

[SuperHandler]

Is that Troll meter monitoring you, because you are either in dire need of treatment for Kool-Aid addiction or a company trollbot here to tell us just how "good" we have it at FedEx.

Fred S is my master. He programmed me at birth to be the ultimate package handler. With the powers invested in me, my birth place of Memphis flows through my body every day. You are futile and out dated. Master says those that complain end up in "shoot outs" at stations.

 

[MrFedEx]

Fred S is my master. He programmed me at birth to be the ultimate package handler. With the powers invested in me, my birth place of Memphis flows through my body every day. You are futile and out dated. Master says those that complain end up in "shoot outs" at stations.

Hmmm. Sounds like you have been absorbed by The Borg...(Choose your deity) help you.

 

[SuperHandler]

Hmmm. Sounds like you have been absorbed by The Borg...(Choose your deity) help you.

 

[MrFedEx]

You are one...with the Memphis Unimind (IQ of 50).

 

[EffOff]

You think you guys on the Delivery side have it bad? Those of us in the Office side are getting screwed majorly. Staffs are being reduced (not just from firing, but from attrition - people are leaving in droves), and the remaining employees are being forced to take up the slack. Shifts are being cut down to 4 people, who are expected to keep up and surpass the current levels of production - for the same lousy rate of pay, of course.

Eat dick, Fred.

 

[Route 66]

Eat dick, Fred.

I like succinctness, and that pretty much sums up my sentiments as well....nicely stated!

 

[MrFedEx]

I like succinctness, and that pretty much sums up my sentiments as well....nicely stated!

I totally agree. BZ to EffOff!!

 

[Goldilocks]

Hell, i mean heil my chief. What will you do to protect your couriers from this rise maybe powered group Isis. Do you have a PLAN to protect your employees from threat?