My First Day: LOL

I wish the following was satire, but alas, it was reality:

1. Enter Training Room.

2. Union Steward strong-arms an uncompelling argument for joining a Union (with uncompelling video argument to match). Insisted on jotting down mine and others' names because we asked to review the Teamsters application at home before we signed anything.

3. 30 minutes of a safety trainer explaining how long it takes to become a driver. (No actual safety or operations training provided, but I did receive a pretty booklet and some sheets of paper.)

4. Placed in a pen to work. A supervisor offers a 60 second explanation of the task at hand; Left to load a truck by myself for an hour.

5. Done with loading. Asked by supervisor if I was now familiar with the numerous checkpoints on the Crossroads Day 1 page. "No sir, I was hired an hour before you met me."

6. "Oh. Well then, this is how you operate a belt, and this is where you stand if there's a disaster. Sign the bottom of the page. I'll see you tomorrow and we'll discover how fast you can load!"

-FIN-

/thanks for the heads up, Brown Cafe. I should have known what to expect after month of lurking here! :knockedout:
 
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atatbl

Well-Known Member
You are going to be a great poster here. I cannot wait to see your interactions with some of the others here.

BTW, that union steward who wrote down your names will immediately turn it over to a terrorist watch group and tell them how "suspicious" you were acting by wanting to read what he was "asking" you to sign. Have fun at Guantanamo.
 
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evilleace

Well-Known Member
WOW you had it bad, I had orientation then an hour training with my sup watching and showing and then my first day on the following monday, and then the full time sup gave me input on how i was doing and we reviewed the methods in the book many times.
 
I wish the following was satire, but alas, it was reality:

1. Enter Training Room.

2. Union Steward strong-arms an uncompelling argument for joining a Union (with uncompelling video argument to match). Insisted on jotting down mine and others' names because we asked to review the Teamsters application at home before we signed anything.

3. 30 minutes of a safety trainer explaining how long it takes to become a driver. (No actual safety or operations training provided, but I did receive a pretty booklet and some sheets of paper.)

4. Placed in a pen to work. A supervisor offers a 60 second explanation of the task at hand; Left to load a truck by myself for an hour.

5. Done with loading. Asked by supervisor if I was now familiar with the numerous checkpoints on the Crossroads Day 1 page. "No sir, I was hired an hour before you met me."

6. "Oh. Well then, this is how you operate a belt, and this is where you stand if there's a disaster. Sign the bottom of the page. I'll see you tomorrow and we'll discover how fast you can load!"

-FIN-

/thanks for the heads up, Brown Cafe. I should have known what to expect after month of lurking here! :knockedout:

Wait till tomorrow, it gets even better!
 

But Benefits Are Great!

Just Words On A Screen
LMAO!! CLASSIC!!

I believe it, every word of it. Your training/orientation was in depth, compared to when I started. It lasted 5 seconds, contained 8 words;

"Here is a truck - unload it - labels up"
 

UPS Lifer

Well-Known Member
I don't think you realize how easy you had it today....

If you have time to turn on the computer, find this website, log in and whine like a baby piglet about your first day on the job... they didn't work you hard enough!!!

I will call your supervisor to let him know that you want him to bring it on!!!!

:knockedout:
 

atatbl

Well-Known Member
I don't think you realize how easy you had it today....

If you have time to turn on the computer, find this website, log in and whine like a baby piglet about your first day on the job... they didn't work you hard enough!!!

I will call your supervisor to let him know that you want him to bring it on!!!!

:knockedout:

Make sure you also call a BA and have him order the steward to collect his family's names as well.


Should probably get their addresses also. You never know how deep these terrorist cells get.
 

Babagounj

Strength through joy
Darn it all.
All you new guys get training.
Way back when I started in was " get in there & load ". I think they called it on job experience.
 
I don't think you realize how easy you had it today....

If you have time to turn on the computer, find this website, log in and whine like a baby piglet about your first day on the job... they didn't work you hard enough!!!

I will call your supervisor to let him know that you want him to bring it on!!!!

:knockedout:

Yes, I do have time to turn on a computer and "whine", Mr. 900 posts; I'll have to check out those tight seniority rules on forum posting! :peaceful:

It's not a matter of easy, it's a matter of liability and a matter of silliness. What benefit is there for a company to throw a "trainee" into an unfamiliar and dangerous environment without even pointing out what he should do if he gets hurt, let alone how to perform his job in a safe manner? If this is the norm across the company, then the satisfaction/turnover rate starts to makes sense. Why have systems in place if you don't use them?

atatbl said:
You are going to be a great poster here. I cannot wait to see your interactions with some of the others here.

BTW, that union steward who wrote down your names will immediately turn it over to a terrorist watch group and tell them how "suspicious" you were acting by wanting to read what he was "asking" you to sign. Have fun at Guantanamo.

Forget Guantanamo, I'm worried about my bloody kneecaps, see! Little Caesar makes the rounds around here every week, see, so you better gots the dough by tomorrow, got it, see?

You know you're facing a completely legitimate and worthwhile organization when the 20+ year rep can't answer basic questions about how membership benefits you, then insists that you join and start paying dues when he, in a sense, comes around to collect every week. "It'll be in your best interest, we'll take care of you."

A blast from the past to illustrate the subject, enjoy:

Army Protection Racket Sketch

Thanks to the others for the welcome, as well!
 

rwsmith67

Well-Known Member
UPS IS SILLY, I suggest you get out now, I can tell by your the tone of your posts you'll never make it at UPS.

UPS 30 years, retired
 

over9five

Moderator
Staff member
UPS IS SILLY, I suggest you get out now, I can tell by your the tone of your posts you'll never make it at UPS.


Me too. UPSIsASillyCompany has far too good grammar to be a package handler!

C'mon, Silly, what's the real story? You're no package handler.
 
Me too. UPSIsASillyCompany has far too good grammar to be a package handler!

C'mon, Silly, what's the real story? You're no package handler.

Haha, I understand what you both are getting at. ;) Just because I'm currently a package handler, doesn't mean I necessarily plan on being one for long, right?

In this amazing country, we are granted the power to choose our own destiny to whatever extent our personal situations and character allow. Indeed, the notion is what our collective American elders and leaders gave up (or are giving up) a great chunk or all of their lives for.

I intend to choose my own destiny as far as I am allowed by fair work and personal drive.

Does this explanation satisfy ye?
 

drewed

Shankman
Haha, I understand what you both are getting at. ;) Just because I'm currently a package handler, doesn't mean I necessarily plan on being one for long, right?

In this amazing country, we are granted the power to choose our own destiny to whatever extent our personal situations and character allow. Indeed, the notion is what our collective American elders and leaders gave up (or are giving up) a great chunk or all of their lives for.

I intend to choose my own destiny as far as I am allowed by fair work and personal drive.

Does this explanation satisfy ye?

Great....another BBAG
Im gonna go cry in my pea soup
then do a shot of jack and go to sleep
for tomorrow i shall slay the beast!
LOL
but seriously God bless America, and no one else :)
 

SoyFish

Well-Known Member
Me too. UPSIsASillyCompany has far too good grammar to be a package handler!

C'mon, Silly, what's the real story? You're no package handler.


Hey, there are some package handlers out there that do indeed know how to use proper grammar, yet choose not to.
 

evilleace

Well-Known Member
Actually A lot of the package handlers I work with are college students and they have excellent grammar but choose not to use it.
 

stevetheupsguy

sʇǝʌǝʇɥǝndsƃnʎ
Great....another BBAG
Im gonna go cry in my pea soup
then do a shot of jack and go to sleep
for tomorrow i shall slay the beast!
LOL
but seriously God bless America, and no one else :)

Are you trying to tell me that after shooting that mouth off like that, you're not a driver yet?

Day 1 was on a Thursday for me. To be exact it was Thursday Feb. 29th of 1996. I was walked to a feeder and told to unload said feeder. What did I do? Hopped right to it! It was either do or die...and I did. Oh sure, I complained...to myself. After the first feeder I was taken to a room and shown a safety video. Right after the video it was back in the feeder. It was the same routine on Friday. Saturday I was in too much pain to get out of bed. Monday came quicker than it should have, but I showed up and did it again. I learned that I needed to eat properly and wear sturdy shoes if I wanted to survive, and I did. I started when I was 30 years old. Now I'm 43, a full time driver on a bid route. Is it a piece of cake? Not at all. Do I sweat my butt of and get home tired? Yes I do. Would I trade this for anything in the world? Not at all; Because I am a UPS guy and this is what we do!!!

And remember to Look for the union label, when you are buying a.....!:wink2:
 

atatbl

Well-Known Member
Great....another BBAG
Im gonna go cry in my pea soup
then do a shot of jack and go to sleep
for tomorrow i shall slay the beast!
LOL
but seriously God bless America, and no one else :)

This guy is not another BBAG. I don't think he is trying to fight the power/system in place. The TS has the potential to last here.

Personally, I think it will be hilarious to see future posts from him. Think about it, he knows he can't change the system, as a preloader, so he will just keep us updated with hysterical choices of wording and skewed opinion.
 
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