Thinking Not Required

Discussion in 'FedEx Discussions' started by MrFedEx, May 29, 2013.

  1. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    Please stop thinking, because it is no longer part of your job description to do so. What FedEx wants is compliance, pure and simple, so please be an excellent employee and give it to them. Here's what it means:

    1. If a customer has a question...don't answer it. Refer them to 1-800-GO-FedEx and let Haroon, Manuel, or Koljinder help them at the Call Center. Remember, you're not qualified to do anything but pickup and deliver.

    2. Your manager asks your opinion about a problem situation: Again, remind your manager that you aren't paid to think, and are only there to follow their the letter. Let's say your manager tells you to help your neighboring route and take whatever they give you. This courier is a Dump King and gives you all their residentials and crap stops. You know that you'll take massive lates. WAD, and do exactly what they ask of you.

    3. You get stuck in a steep, wet driveway at a residence. There is a large pile of sand sitting next to the driveway with a shovel sticking out of it. Call, and ask your manager what to do. Using the sand would be theft, and would also involve thinking, WHICH IS NOT ALLOWED. The tow truck will get there sometime in the next 4 hours or so.

    4. You see a vandal spray painting "Fred is a punk" on a FedEx dropbox. After finishing with the paint, the vandal takes a cutting torch and burns through the side of the box, emptying it's contents. Call your manager and ask what you should do. DO NOT THINK.

    5. You are at a residential stop. There are numerous signs that say " Warning/Pet Wolves", and "Trespassers Will Be Shot". Don't think and WAD, which means delivering the package. As you lie on the ground bleeding profusely, call your manager and ask them what you should do.

    6. Your station CTV is broken-down on the side of the road about 2 miles from your station. The RTD is waving his arms madly and the tractor has flames coming from beneath the fuel tanks. If you stop and ask the RTD if they need help, you will miss your RTB time. Correct!! You continue to the station so you don't miss your RTB time and tell nobody about what you've seen because you have been told to get off the clock within 10 minutes.

    Bravo Zulu!! I know you can do this!!
  2. whenIgetthere

    whenIgetthere Well-Known Member

    BZ! What the heck, the Memphoids works without thinking everyday, so we must do the same!
  3. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    That's the spirit!! Bravo Zulu and a Golden Falcon to you.
  4. thedownhillEXPRESS

    thedownhillEXPRESS Well-Known Member

    I think the new big award for excellence in creating a disaster should now be known as the DRA award.

    DRA is already infamous like "new coke" , which was also a Ron Johnson disaster.

  5. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    Did Ron Johnson really come-up with New Coke? Maybe we should just call it a "Thornton", like getting an Oscar, except for being really bad at what you do, instead of excellent.
  6. thedownhillEXPRESS

    thedownhillEXPRESS Well-Known Member

    He did, google it.
    I'm somewhat of a CNBC junkie, they used to always point that out.
  7. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    Well. you get a Golden Falcon for that factoid. I'm considering a Thornton for bbsam and STXFG. This is the equivalent of going #2 and then running out of the stall with the whole roll following behind you.
  8. hypo hanna

    hypo hanna Well-Known Member

    Only a matter of time before we lure him away from his present job with obscene amounts of cash. He is defiantly FedEx material!
  9. FUFred

    FUFred Active Member

    When I was a fedex express driver ( 2 months ago) I wasn't required to carry a cellphone. Sure, I always had one, but never was I required to carry it for work. If dispatch or a mgr sent me a message to call the station, I'd message them back, I didn't get my fedex issued cellphone from the gatekeeper today.
  10. whenIgetthere

    whenIgetthere Well-Known Member

    Same when I got a tracer from the gatekeeper today, that said "Deliver after 1700, but call this number first". Handed it back to her, and told her what I always tell them, I do not call customers on my personal cellphone.


    I rarely answer for other couriers any more, got burned when they had another driver call me then take the phone since I don't answer when they call....especially after hours. That's what texting is for.
  12. Monkey Butt

    Monkey Butt Dark Prince of Double Standards Staff Member

    I thought this was your aptitude test result when I saw the thread title.
    Is it? :wink2:
  13. Guapo

    Guapo New Member

    Yeah your asking for trouble when you use personal phone- they have your number saved so now any future problems they're gonna call You.