So after all the talk from the Teamcare Teledoc doctor about how I almost certainly have it, she wrote up the diagnosis as 'cough' and gave me a 3 day excuse, the maximum they are allowed to give.
The doctor who did my phone screening for the hospital testing center also said I am suspected positive but was low risk so no test, but self quarantine until 72 hours after symptoms.
And of course, UPS needs a positive diagnosis for the paid leave.
I dont care about the money, but obviously cant let the benefits lapse right now. This is gonna be a headache