Classic FedEx Incident

Discussion in 'FedEx Discussions' started by MrFedEx, Sep 30, 2019.

  1. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    Today I run into a courier I've known for 20 years, and she tells me about a recent AM sort incident. So, the sort has been going for about 10 minutes and there's suddenly an unknown foul odor coming out of a newly opened AMJ.

    Nobody passes out or anything, but a bunch of couriers downwind smell it and mention it to management. It's very obvious. The manager says "all I smell is coffee". The other manager says "I smell nothing". The belt keeps on going and 4 people walk off the sort and are immediately threatened with letters.

    Ultimately, nobody is told what the substance is, and the 4 couriers don't even get an OLCC

    This is such classic FedEx BS. Nobody cares about you, just about the sort going down on time.

    I wish someone had called 9-1-1 or pulled the fire alarm. Better yet, stop the belt, and walk off the sort.

    So glad I'm gone. FedEx Cares.
  2. Cactus

    Cactus Just telling it like it is

    Typical management approach.

    They're trained or should I say brainwashed to the fact that the sort is some sacred cow that all should worship.

    Glad I'm gone from there too. It's been over 5 years for me and I haven't regretted it for even a solitary day.
  3. MarvelousMunata

    MarvelousMunata The Scapegoat With Attitude

  4. bacha29

    bacha29 Well-Known Member

    Nothing new there. A couple of managers just back from their most recent trip to the Fedex Mind Control and Reeducation Academy .
    Following the morning waterboarding the afternoon session covers the following subject: See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Smell No Evil.
  5. 59 Dano

    59 Dano I just want to make friends!

    In my 10 years reading thousands of posts from hundreds of posters in this forum, only one poster had such crazy stories to tell. How come the crazy stories only happen to you and/or your colleagues?
  6. Cactus

    Cactus Just telling it like it is

    Oh, you'd see more if your reading comprehension was up to snuff. What on earth is so crazy about that story?
  7. 59 Dano

    59 Dano I just want to make friends!

    It's ridiculous. MF is an agenda-driven liar, and agenda-driven liars are silly with a flair for the dramatic. Had he said that management was notified but didn't do anything then ok, maybe he's telling the truth or maybe he's not. But "ALL I SMELL IS COFFEE" and threats of warning letters for fear that the sort might not go down on time? LOL. Toss it in the folder with all the other tall tales.
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  8. Nolimitz

    Nolimitz Well-Known Member

    And here I thought Vantexan was Full-of-Sh_t
  9. bbsam

    bbsam Moderator Staff Member

    He is.
  10. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    Sure. Nah, never legitimate that people have passed out opening cans or had management tell them something radioactive and neon orange that smelled like Krylon was "vegetable oil". The morning when we had 2 people pass out they actually called the fire department and stopped the sort. It's worth it putting everyone at risk so you don't get a call from the MD or higher wondering why the sort went down late, right? No morality, just concern for the reports.

    You amaze me. The kind of antics FedEx management has pulled for years are legendary, and anything I post here I have either personally witnessed or gotten from reliable sources.

    I still know hundreds of former co-workers who often tell me the latest craziness or ridiculous new policy. I have zero reason to doubt the veracity of the courier who told me the story I related.

    But, as a manager, I know you only see the side where you get a call when the sort goes down late due to a mysterious odor or unknown spill. In other words, you'd only "smell coffee" and pretend everything was fine.

    "Tom Tuttle From Tacoma, Washington". That's you. Complete with powder blue Mao suit, and some thick knee pads that are good for thousands of times before you have to get a new set.

    Anyone ever had an experience with thawed durian? It smells a lot like Dano.
    Last edited: Oct 1, 2019
  11. 59 Dano

    59 Dano I just want to make friends!

    Of course you're telling the truth!! The only place we hear those stories is here, and the only person who tells them is you! WHAT A COINCIDENCE!
  12. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    There are thousands of insane FedEx stories out there. Just because you drink their Kool-Aid and shill for them, don't deny the truth. What a coincidence that you show up to defend FedEx whenever anyone has anything negative to say about the company.
  13. Cactus

    Cactus Just telling it like it is

    Hell, every courier with at least 2 years experience could write their own book of insane FedEx stories. Dano is in duh-nile because the only station he's worked at is Station One where you can have all day to fine sort 2 baskets of documents if you want.
  14. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    Exactly. I could go on for pages with tales of spilled bull semen, frozen body parts falling out of boxes, missing organs etc, but Dano would just say I'm lying.

    No, I'm not.
  15. vantexan

    vantexan Well-Known Member

    Thanks a lot. From now on when I take a dump I will be thinking of you.
  16. Cactus

    Cactus Just telling it like it is

    Zinger! @bbsam:gun_banda:hammer:
  17. 59 Dano

    59 Dano I just want to make friends!

    Any theory on why you're the only one here with all of those stories? I mean, aside from the obvious answer that we all know...
  18. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    I invite others to share theirs. One of my personal favorites is walking into the senior manager's office and finding him banging the sales rep on his desk. I never said anything, but both always treated me very well thereafter. I also got the opportunity to have my way with the sales rep, who was quite attractive.

    I banged plenty of women on my lunch hour whom I had met delivering. It was always great to wake some attractive lady up, or have her rush out of the shower to sign for her package.

    Here's another one. The day of my interview I was ushered into the senior's office where there was an open Courier-Pak sitting on his desk with a massive brick of hashish inside. One corner of the wrapping was opened, and as I sat down he broke off some and offered it to me. I declined, because I don't do drugs and also because I figured it was some sort of character test. It wasn't. Real hash, and the SM, about 20 employees and all of the managers were neck-deep in a drug ring.

    Anyone ever hear of the Super Bowl ticket thefts? Gold and jewelry thefts? Electronics "warehouses" in employee garages? Tossing phones, drugs, and other valuables over the fence at ramps to accomplices on the other side?

    Sex in vans? Never. Fights, drunk employees, pervs, stalkers, major drug goes on and on.

    So many stories. All true. Anyone who was around for a long time absolutely knew high value packages and could easily identify them, especially those who did FO or retail routes.

    "Hazmat" was often used as a way to ship precious metals in solution.

    Theft, sex, and all around bad behavior all over the place.
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2019
  19. vantexan

    vantexan Well-Known Member

    Yeah, I remember the time these three little green guys flew up next to me while I was eating lunch in my truck. They wanted to swap vehicles for an hour. I thought cool, I can zip around in a flying saucer. Joy riding little bastards took off before explaining the controls and I had to sit on an undersized seat for 40 minutes hoping no cops or Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith would come along. Not as exciting as half naked women answering doors, true, but it's amazing the stories we have. On the plus side the little green guys liked my Sprinter much better than the UPS truck they stole the day before.
  20. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    Why not share a few instead of trying to roast me with an MIB analogy? I'm sure you have a few decent ones.

    One of the best aspects of working for FedEx (for me) was all the opportunities to meet women, especially receptionists. When I went RTD I really missed seeing all of those beautiful flirtatious ladies.
    Last edited: Oct 12, 2019